A Facade of Me

You and I went into the woods. Only one of us came out. Completely surrounded by the trees, I was engulfed with the darkness in me. Though I searched tremendously, you where nowhere to be found, you dared not utter one sound. I tripped and stumbled along the way, the ground bruised my feet, which was bitter-sweet. I winced at the minimal pain, although really I could feel the shame. It was the shiver that was in the wind, the lies within my sin. The noises among the breeze, whispered those I teased. As a familiar sound approached me, I hid myself with some reeds, a facade I wore with little ease. I was mute when you walked past me, though my heart screamed, I knew you could not recognize me. I saw you leave the dark forest that night, I assumed it was the last time I’d see you, and if I did nothing I’d assume right. I spent my nights in the woods, I searched my soul, the best that I could. I had watched you inspire me, so I threw down the reeds, and walked out of the trees. A soft light guided me, showing me the truth, what I would not see. What I saw disgusted me, the persona I tried to be, the same sight you saw in me. Though my mind was out of the woods, my body remained, as long as it could. I hungered to tear down the tree, the one fat with lies, which kept you away from me. Now I have devoured it, a taste, bearing a familiar grit. I now see beyond that tree, that forest, which held my mind in captivity. All I see you, but only in my dreams, for I know this life’s been ripped at the seams. Still I wait for another chance, to expose the actual person in me, wishing that you would grant me this opportunity.

Blood Red Rose

Pain aroused me as blood began to surface from my pricked finger. I quickly clasped my finger with my lips, hoping that the bleeding would be stopped. My heart violently beat the backing of my ribcage as blood began to plummet to the tile below. I bruised my hand as I forcefully clutched it at the wrist. I watched the droplets increase the pool on the floor beneath my feet. Cast-off from the blood droplets began to speckle the tops of my feet. As time, though short, continued my feet were encased with my blood. I leaned over the sink as if to catch myself from fainting. I looked deep into the mirror, attempting to examine my soul. I once faced death's door as a child, this time I had my doubts. My knees began to buckle; the sink was almost full, I grasped the edge trying to brace myself, the blood lined the rim causing my grip to be useless. I hit the ground with an echoing rumble. My heart almost paused, attempting to fight for survival. I could see the maker of my doom as I helplessly lay on the floor. I focused my vision on the beauty of the red rose. It was meant to cause no harm. The vibrant color provided a numbing sense of tranquility. As I parted ways with the evil that I have done, I inhaled my final breaths. The rose began to blur as everything motionlessly changed to black and white. A tear left my cheek as everything faded to black.

I overlooked the coroner as he commenced his autopsy. He coldly stripped my clothing from me. He showed no emotion as my bare skin was exposed for the last time, for his eyes only. He wrapped his hand around my ankle, beginning to shower away the dried blood and impurities from my lifeless flesh. He gently caressed the icy water over the surface of my curves. Along with the water, he ran his latex fingers through my hair. He lifted the faucet over my face. Water softly rained upon me. The light drizzle revealed the natural beauty of my presence. The coroner turned for a moment to taken in my lovely purity. He was morbidly enticed. He drowned his feelings continuing with his occupation. He examined my body for cuts and wounds; assuming that it was a suicide. He found none. He only found a prick. He lifted my hand for a closer look. He noted that the prick barely entered the under layers of the dermis. He removed his initial thoughts and continued with the autopsy. When all was finished the report read: C.O.D (Cause of Death) was determined as exsanguination related to severe hemophilia.

After the ruling it was not long before I was placed on one last slab. I couldn't feel the fire's heat as it smoldered. I was also relieved from smelling my flesh as it burned and crackled. As I was reduced to nothing but ash, I felt an inner peace. Life on earth was over, and death is really only a new beginning, a cleansing way to start a new.

Hold Me Close

Warmth from your skin,

Comforts and eases my mind,

As I am deep within,

Your strong embrace,

Becoming one intertwined,

You've played your ace,

Revealing my fate,

Forgiving me,

By clearing my slate,

I can finally see,

When you hold me close,

You're my only hope,

That others oppose,

To helping me cope.

Blood Lust

You are awakened. You can sense that I am in the room with you. A certain presence, this is undeniable. You remain silent as if you'd expect that I just simply leave you. Your fate is sealed, as I have come for a reason. Your beating heart, begins to pain as blood surges through your supple veins. As I caress my hand along the inside of your leg, you feel intrigued. Guilt and sin attempt to enter your mind, but you enjoy it, my touch. You enjoy it, so you do not scream and try to chain me. Although, you couldn't defeat me if you tried. Pure pleasure sends you into a deep trance. You are helpless, with your life in my hands. The rustic scent of your blood drives me further into a frenzy. An uncontrollable drive for blood. A thirst that can't be quenched. I shall not attempt to fight it, this will only cause the blood lust to grow. As our passion ignites, I grasp a hold of your neck. You stare deeply into my soulless eyes, where there is nothing. I embrace your neck with my teeth. As I drain you dry, my thirst dissipates. Your body grows cold, lacking pigment, lacking life. I return to the night, awaiting to find another, for when the hunger grows stronger.

Endless Feeling

Stripped to the bone,

Completely exposed for you,

Opened to the core,

Where an uncontrollable inferno awaits,

A passion that can't be bound,

A part of me is very much afraid,

History is buried but the feeling remains,

A void that has yet to be filled,

A place that has been reserved,

Where only a puzzle has yet to be solved,

Questioning motives is pointless,

Pondering will take my mind,

And dreaming will get me by,

Though my nights are lonely,

My feeling is endless,

There I am,

Bare before you,

Soul and all,

Obsessing that I can't be wrong,

Realizing what I can't be without,

Emotions

As the black void is opened,

Evil commences a release,

A rapture from the control,

Rioting to please the dark within.

The madness' volume is unfolded,

While others perish,

Seemingly deleted from the creator,

Seemingly ceasing to exist.

The void grows hungry,

Starving for a taste,

A blood lust that reigns unquenchable,

Becoming a suitable fetish.

Tantalizing to the eye,

Smoldering to the touch,

Sinfully sweet,

Deadly to taste.

A mentally draining sensation,

Rendering you senseless,

Paralyzing your cognitive reflexes,

While scratching at your soul.

Emotions for pleasure,

Emotions for pain,

Emotions to lose,

Emotions to gain.

Evil can remain,

While good takes the reigns,

Defense for the heart,

That most take in vain.

Realistically My Love

You sir my lover are not as the rain:

Darkness is a lot brighter than your words to me,

Because all you do is cause me nothing but pain,

If this wasn’t meant to be, realistically maybe I’d see.

I have seen you in your ugliest hour, that time of need,

There were no angels upon your shoulder;

And only me have let your compulsion breed,

It was an inferno of passion that now barely can smolder.

Your voice, from what I can still hear,

Is cold and heartless being filled with lies;

I used to be blind not wanting to see this clear;

You disgust me and I callused my heart until it dies.

And still, only as fate, I am sure this love will go on,

Even though my heart is broken and I can’t feel strong.

You've Disappeared

You are gone, done with me,

You've disappeared, that is clear to me,

I stand alone, as I usually have,

I feel only empty, not the least bit sad,

I am again, surrounded by nothing,

With no chance, of you returning,

Lies bound us together,

Lies tore us under,

I remain the constant, while you change with the season,

What I found is now missing again,

A heart, lifeless without a home,

A certain limbo, that is only known,

I dare not utter your name,

For I only associated it with shame,

You've made me this vile, I am disgusted even with me,

With the things I've said, with the things I refuse to see,

I was foolish, not realizing you were a child,

Immature and tainted, are words that are only mild,

Even if you swallowed your pride,

The memories are hard to hide,

Memories that can be forgotten,

That only prove we were rotten,

I could give more chances, that you'd never take,

Or I could stop this fracture before the break,

However, this matter isn't up to me,

For it is you who have disappeared from yourself, unable to see,

You are left to search aimlessly,

And you will fail completely.

Pictures

The flash sparks and thus the image is born, imprinted into the digital world forever. The pictures never lie, altered or not they never lie. Life is captured here, forever held in the digital world, never to be lost or forgotten. That is why people don't take pictures of funerals or divorce, they take pictures to remember the good times, the funny moments, the moments that made life worth living. Those moments are what one aspires to capture on camera. It is never the ugly, or evil in someone, but the good, the light. So why do we throw away these pictures as soon as we're done with the people? Is the memory to painful to cherish, or is the guilt to heavy to bare? Why is it that a picture can have so much power over a person's conscious? It starts when you open your own eyes and look into yourself, and then your reflection captured in a picture. You certainly never see the horror, or pain you've caused, nor the lies you told to ease your pride. No, you only see the good that you believe you have in yourself. Until you accept yourself for who you really are, for everything that you've done, only then do you have the right to delete the pictures of those who've hurt you. Otherwise, it is like you are deleting yourself. The problem with that it is you never know which part of you is being deleted, the evil or the good.

Voyeuristic Wonders

The intensity of your heartbeat causes the back of your ribcage to bruise. The sweat trickles down your body profusely like a torn artery. You eyes widen, to scan in all of the indiscretions that have presented themselves to you. You receive a certain high from the unaware couple that ignited the voyeuristic wonder in your body. You inhale deeply to take in the essence of your sin. The sinful thoughts that cloud your judgement, or the lack there of in your case. You are utterly captured by the beauty and enjoyment that you receive from merely hiding in the bushes. You enclose your feelings deep in the cold storage shed that used to be the home of your lonely heart.

The Whispers off Your Lips

I am; the whispers off your lips, the writings on the walls, the moans in sound, the clouds in your judgement, the tingling in your nerves, the vixen of your dreams, the operator of your heart, the god of your soul, the lothario of your mind, the mistress of your demise, the sin in your eyes, the feeling of your fingers, the lingering scent in your nose, the mess in your head, the flirtation of your bed, the keeper of your memories, the writer of you future and the insomnia that you anxiously await.

Slumber of You

I have slipped,

deep into a numbing sense,

of an eternal slumber,

as isolation engulfs my soul,

rage enters my mind,

only for a moment,

dreaming of you calms the angry beast,

relaxes the void where my heart belongs,

and eases the pain that we've caused,

only numbing the sensation of emotion,

controls the inferno of passion,

a passion that is unexplainable,

as I look in your eyes,

I see it, the pain,

the angst, the worry, the fear,

the comfort,

the trust,

the me of me,

and the you of you,

as I lay sleeping,

surround me,

watch over me,

as I will return,

I will awake,

from this coma,

where all of my senses have failed,

where I will return to you,

repaired,

awaiting a new.

Silence

I am silent when I am in pain,

for my tears hit with a muffled boom,

time ticks the minutes of my shame,

you enjoy love in the other room,

will you ever notice,

the tears on my cheek,

if I cry in silence,

if I cry while you sleep,

I fear that I can't go on,

you won't notice my distraction,

with her on your arm,

even though she is a fatal attraction,

I am not lying in wait,

I do not have a gun,

I know that this can't be fate,

if the devil has won,

as I lay in bed,

hearing sin,

I am seemingly dead,

engulfed by the evil within,

so as I fade away,

from the mess you've made,

I find it hard, to a god I pray,

to hide the devil in a deep grave,

for the end holds the final plea,

is this a lost notice,

or will you find her guilty,

because I can't contain the silence,

the silence in me.

Sleepless

I fear that I am out of control with my life,

and the things that matter the most to me,

will soon slip away into the emptiness that has poured into my heart.

I am forever pondering the ideas that I am somehow to blame,

but I find myself laying next to the Sleeper's Demon,

my Incubus is the one who keeps me sleepless.

With the fear and hate amounting in myself,

I am fearful that I can't continue to go on killing myself,

over an idea that society has made.

If I have a pitiful amount of happiness in my life,

it might just be enough to keep me,

to keep me forever sleepless.

Morphine: Straight to the Heart

The numbness enters me,

it protects me from the damage that can occur,

it is a silent calm that I now see,

I am more coherent now than ever before,

the emotional morphine is a gentle lover,

allowing me to breathe in deeply,

while I sleeping tug at the cover,

that permits me to sleep soundly,

I find it ironic that I feel more now,

more now than ever before.

Restless

Dwelling, deep within, a fire burns to get out,

a passion,

a passion with an uncontrolled nature,

a nature with a secret,

a secret created in a mistake,

a mistake with lives attached to it,

a life torn in confusion,

confusion which holds an answer,

an answer painful with meaning,

a meaning not yet revealed,

a chance of fate presents itself,

a presentation for a change,

a change that hopefully won't be realized too late.

Quick, open your eyes, reveal the meaning,

a meaning with happiness,

happiness attached to yourself,

attached to someone else,

someone who has never betrayed you,

betrayal that will not fall before you,

see it,

your last chance,

embrace it,

touch it,

before it is too late.

Plunge, into the new, the uncharted,

don't fall into back into history,

write the future,

write for you,

tomorrow awaits you,

better yourself,

be in control for you,

emotions come and go,

as does time,

time holding fate in limbo,

pausing the future,

that is still unclear,

a true friend is always there,

while all others disappear.

A Crisp Breeze

You inhale the refreshingly cool air,

as you stroll down the pathway of leaves,

each crunching as you alternate your feet,

but the loud crunches are easily muted by your mind,

you shrug away the past,

opening your eyes to the possibilities,

but still remaining cautious,

as that swift breeze sends shivers down your spine,

you warm yourself,

allowing a timid smile to grace your face,

as you continue with your stroll,

your mind is at ease,

just enjoying a crisp breeze.

A New Dawn

As the sun slowly rises over the horizon,

The wind blows sweetly,

Pushing the salty air into the beyond,

The waves still crash gently,

Stirring the waters which you sit upon,

The boat rocks violently,

But not for too long,

For the calm rolls in softly,

Bringing in a new dawn.

Broken Pieces

Broken pieces of my shattered heart,

I pick them up without falling apart,

Broken pieces of my torn dreams,

I pick them up to sew the seams,

Broken pieces of my damaged pride,

I pick them up only to hide,

Broken pieces of my shallow lies,

I pick them up ending all ties,

Broken pieces from which I'm made,

I can't pick me up I'm afraid.

Sleeping Soundly

I slowly drift into eternal bliss,

Greeted by others with an indifferent kiss,

They grasp my hand ever so tightly,

Unaware that I am sleeping soundly,

I doubt they will ever understand,

Why I took my final stand,

For the first time I am not bound,

For the last time I can't be found,

Quietly I enter the deep,

Relieved that I will eternally sleep.

Exposed

Although you have deceived me,

A part of me believes that we could be,

I know I'm not strong,

All I felt was uncertainty,

Trying to prove others wrong,

I fought passionately,

Denying myself fate,

All I can do now is wait,

By taking it slow,

I allowed myself to become exposed,

Discovering my new low,

While leaving my real senses closed,

I'm completely stripped down to the bone,

Praying that I am not left alone.

Filleted Alive

My eyes widen with anger and pain,

As blood falls to the floor like an angry rain,

Knowing that I've only got myself to blame,

I see now that you never felt the same,

With that knife in my back,

My blind eyes as black,

Knowing that I never had a say,

I never wanted it to end up this way,

Broken and beautiful I still strive,

Angry as I have been filleted alive.

Alone

Here I stand,

All alone,

Here I fall,

On my own,

Here I watch,

From below,

Here I reap,

What I sow,

Here I cry,

Once more,

Here I am,

Deeply sore,

Here I am,

All alone,

Here I die,

On my own.

I'm Lost

I'm engulfed in the dark,

Surrounded by no friend,

Dwelling on what should have been,

I've missed my spark,

My life is at its end,

Cursed deep within,

I've lost me,

I can't recognize this face,

Although I can see,

I am unable to find my place,

I've searched in sin,

Been corrupted by lust,

Been corrupted within,

Try I must,

I'm lost,

Forgotten not,

Although this had its cost,

Still I fight for my soul will rot.

Into the Dark

I will seek you out through the dark,

I will hold you before your final embark,

Before you have a chance to tempt fate,

Before you find out that it is too late,

Swallow your pride is all I pray,

Swallow it quickly is all I say,

Invite the right people into your heart,

Invite the wrong and you'll fall apart,

It is your choice to make,

It is your chance to take,

I will follow you into the dark,

I will hope that I make my mark.